Some of you may have heard about Gary Busey's weird attack on Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney at Sunday's Oscars -- it's one for the ages. As Ryan Seacrest is interviewing the two actresses about what they're wearing, you hear a annoying, gravelly voice interrupting and then the magic begins.

No one's sure quite what the perma-fried actor was thinking when he butted in, or why he felt so euphoric in a situation where he was clearly making everyone very uncomfortable. It's obvious that the Thorazine is not normalizing his behavior. The tragedy for our style readers is that we don't get to hear the details about Jennifer's outfit.

The aftermath of the "Gary Busey freak-out of 2008" is still unfolding. Busey called Ryan Seacrest during Ryan's morning radio show to apologize, rambling in his own enlightened, pointless way. If this quote doesn't explain it, nothing will:

"You are to me, when you're working, an innocent champion of honesty... Your heart has a way of embracing the truth and honesty without looking like you're reading from a script."

The difficult thing about facial hair is maintaining a balance within your personal style -- not letting the beard take control. A beard that's out of control can make you look pretty silly, and you'd do better to shave that sucker off rather than be caught wearing it. I've seen cases wear once sharp-dressing, clean-shaven guys decided to grow a beard, and pretty soon it was flannel and torn t-shirts -- and they never came back.

For better or worse, stars set the tone in the world of men's facial hair -- it's not necessarily a bad thing. It allows us to take cues from them and their stylists, converting them into lessons about our own shaving techniques. When Russell Crowe grows a beard and it looks cool, every dude on the street quits shaving. Then again, sometimes celebrities screw it up -- then we can make fun of them and feel superior.

The grading system for celebrity beards is simple: it consists of 3 variables. First, is there a reasonably good balance between their facial hair and their hairstyle? Second, is the beard in harmony with the rest of the outfit? The third variable is the interpretive factor, i.e. what's the beard doing for them? and how effective is it?

I'm not a big Coin Farrell fan to say the least. For whatever reason, his cocky demeanor and good looks annoy me to no end. Plus, I think he styles himself a Bono Jr. Nevertheless, I won't let this affect my evaluation of his beard control. I am, after all, a professional.

While I can't give my full approval for his choice to go with the scruffy, hasn't shaved in 5 days look for his Oscar appearance -- it's a little too romance novel for my taste -- I do think Colin shows good consistency and facial hair control. Women seem to like beards at this adolescent stage, more than when they've fully grown in. The unkempt hair is a little over the top, and if the beard were fully grown in, he would definitely have issues with his beard to hair ratio.

As it stands, Farrell does a pretty good job at pulling off the macho Irish brawler look -- if not a little too conspicuously. Nobody believes that he's really been so tied up at the pub he didn't have time to go home and shave, yet he kinda looks like he just threw this tux on and drove on over to the Academy Awards. Purposefully unrefined.

(out of 5)
Beard to Hair Ratio:4
Beard to Ensemble:3
Babe Magnetism: 5

Although he did get a nomination for his role as the 'Demon Barber of Fleet Street,' Johnny Depp's facial hair control was not quite up to his usual standards. The goatee/mustache combo is a proven look for him, he's stuck with it since his Don Juan days. While last night's goatee was definitely under control, it was lacking a little bit of the usual flair.

I think his shaggy hair took away from the goatee, I kept wanting to reach over a push the hair out of his eyes -- it looked kinda painful. I know Johnny's got to be sick of walking the red carpet by now, but his hair to goatee ratio makes him look like someone who just wants to hide from the media while Daniel Day Lewis takes home the Oscar for Best Actor.

In my opinion, the sulking 'I hate the media' look is never becoming to movie stars -- they should suck it up and try to have some appreciation for the media that supports them. At least Johnny is able to complete the ensemble with a sort of casually worn dinner jacket and bow tie. Personally, I like a more bubbly and colorful Johnny Depp, but maybe playing a serial killer has got him down -- no major fashion errors though.

(out of 5)
Beard to Hair Ratio: 3
Beard to Ensemble: 4
Brooding Artist Factor: 4

If anyone can navigate the intricacies of men's facial hair, it's Sean Combs. What can't the guy do? He's already managed a successful music career, fashion design, and now he's making his way into a nice acting career. His stylish goatee was a nice contrast to a night of facial hair abuse.

First off, the mustache and goatee combo is classic and gives him that urban refined look without upsetting the beard to hair ratio -- way to not rock the full beard. He could balance it out with some wild hairstyle, but Sean likes to keep it subtle, keeping the hair in check and topping it off with some earrings just to represent. The tux is cool, I like the low vest and the wide lapels -- everything about the ensemble is very put together.

Puffy doesn't get much credit for taking risks, but graded on general beard control, he's taking home the award. His goatee says: how about casting me in a lead role, Hollywood? Monday was the premiere of his made for TV version of 'A Raisin in the Sun.'

(out of 5)
Beard to Hair Ratio: 5
Beard to Ensemble: 4
Suaveness: 4

It's hard not to like a comic mind as sharp as Seth Rogen. He gave some of the funniest performances of 2007, excelling in such roles as accidental father/stoner and slacker cop. Wait -- he was acting in those movies right? Or will he wake up this afternoon with a post-Oscars hangover and hit the bong as he dines on a breakfast of goldfish crackers?

While he probably doesn't care -- since I think his slacker look is somewhat genuine -- he's dangerously close to having a Bob Ross attack. As we've seen with Adrian Grenier, the combination of curly hair plus a beard can get our of control really fast. The and glasses help make him look a bit more respectable -- far better than Jonah Hill's bow tie. If he would trim back that fro, I think the beard would look good -- but as it stands, were on beard alert level 3 (of 5).

I know Seth is kind of building a brand here. Still, it's never a great idea to advertise yourself as a one dimensional pot-head in front of a group of potential employers. So, it would probably be a good idea to clean up nice for a prestigious award show like the Oscars, right? Not for Seth, he's a rebel. Or he's showing Canadian lumberjack pride. Take your pick.

(out of 5)
Beard to Hair Ratio: 2
Beard to Ensemble: 2
Slacker Points: 4

This was a fierce battle of the ages between little 15-year-old Miley Cyrus and 62 year old Helen Mirren. Both were beautiful ladies in red at the Oscars so I thought we'd pit them off against each other in spite of their 47 year age difference.

Let me start by saying that Helen Mirren is fierce. And no, I did not say fierce for her age. She's fierce for any age! Her gown was awesome, it totally showed off her rocking body. Her makeup, with perfectly matched lips and nails finished off the look and made it look very polished. With so much going on in the sleeves, I think it was wise that she didn't go with a necklace. That would have been too much.

And Miley looked amazing as well! I was thrilled to see her dressing for her age. She didn't look too old or too young, just too cute for words! Her hair and makeup were simple and worked perfectly for this fresh-faced up and coming star. Little Hannah Montana is all grown up! I'm going to give this battle to Miley. What can I say? She has youth on her side.

I must admit, I didn't go see Eastern Promises, but Viggo's creepy beard-action at Sunday night's Oscars certainly made me think he should probably walk away with Best Actor, no questions asked. Did you see the clip? He put a cigarette out on his tongue just before chopping up a corpse. That's the kind of deeply morbid performance that will ruin your chances of ever landing another 'good guy' role. Then, to show up with that beard -- I thought they should give him an Oscar for Most Disturbing Beard.

Most of us know Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and something about his long scrubby beard makes it seem like he's still not totally over the LOTR experience. Does he go back to middle earth between each movie he works on? I think his beard to hair ratio was really hurt by the fact that he chose to sport a phonytail. On closer inspection he's just got it slicked back, but regardless, it looks like he's got a thick beard and a freaky ponytail -- too much.

All that I can really say about the ensemble is that it's consistent -- he looks like an Eastern-bloc hit man from head to toe -- the hair, the beard, the double-breasted suit. The rose is a nice touch, but seriously Viggo, what's up with the werewolf look?

(out of 5)
Beard to Hair Ratio: 2
Beard to Ensemble: 4
Creepiness: 5

Katherine Heigl and Hilary Swank both wore one shouldered gowns on the red carpet. And they weren't the only ones. Everyone showed up tonight in the asymmetrical silhouette! I was surprised we didn't see any guys wearing one shoulder tuxes.

Katherine gets a few bonus points since she went red and one shouldered. That's like killing two trendy birds with one stone since red was definitely the color of the night. It also helps that she was born for old school Hollywood glamor. Her short wavy hair and big earrings perfectly complete the look!

Hilary decided to do the one shoulder in black. Her gown was a bit more flowing and had more intricate details than Katherine's. She looks fab, but she also looks, how do I put this delicately, hungry.

I'm going with Katherine as the winner of the one shoulder face off. Mostly just because I can't focus on Hilary's dress long enough to decide if it's better or not. When I look at her all I can see are the bones popping out of her chest. Eat a sandwich, woman!

Since she's a former exotic dancer, I had expected something a bit more risque from Diablo Cody (screenwriter of Juno) at this year's Oscars. And while animal print is on the daring end of prints, there's no danger of naughty bits being exposed, and for that, I'm totally happy. In fact, I rather love her whole red carpet look -- she's funky, fashionable, and looks comfortable with her choice.

And what's even better is she has a style that regular folks can totally emulate. Do you like it? Do you want to take this look home? No problem -- here's what you do:

Nicole Kidman is one of my favorite pale ladies in all of Hollywood. But, I wish she would own her skin color. Wearing a black dress when your skin is as white as snow can sometimes make one look rather witch-y.

I also wish she would own her pregnancy! Show it off Nicole! Every gossip blog out there knows you've been wanting to have biological children since back before you starting botoxing the life out of your forehead, had red hair and dated pre-couch jumping crazy Tom Cruise. And now Keith Urban's golden sperm has done the trick. You're finally knocked up, so give us what we've all been waiting for -- a glimpse of that little baby bump!

Honestly, there's not that much wrong with this dress. It's kind of an awkward length -- like someone accidentally hemmed it just an inch too short. And it's a little boring. The plain black looks sort of like a prom dress, I mean if it weren't worn with a ridiculous diamond necklace, which is most certainly worth more than my house. But, I can't really put my finger on what I don't like about Nicole's Oscar get-up. I think I just expected more from one of the most elegant women in the business.

Penelope Cruz has no problem taking risks with fashion, and often, for her, that means playing with a variety of fabrics. This year's Oscars gown was no exception -- she had a plethora of feathers adorning her gown, and managed to make it work.

Now, I'm not about to recommend you start sporting a feather boa. In fact, I'm telling you straight up -- don't do it. However, there are lessons to be learned from P. Cruz's ensemble -- mere mortals can experiment with a variety of fabrics and adornments, especially when it's for a special occasion.

Tilda Swinton is a great actress! So I don't get why she always wears totally insane outfits to award shows. She should know how to work the red carpet by now, but for some reason she insists on dressing in the most unflattering clothing that she can get hands on.

This year, Tilda's unflattering outfit of choice is what looks like a giant velvet trash bag. She did get the memo that one shoulder is in, unfortunately, she took it one step further and went with just one sleeve. Her poor left arm must be cold with all the wind and almost rain going on today!

And I'm pretty sure she doesn't realize that she's at the freaking Oscars! I understand the need to look natural. I have no problem with ladies who aren't girly and into wearing tons of making. But you just cannot go completely barefaced to the Oscars. Hilda, you are at the biggest event of the year. A little bit of lip gloss never hurt anyone. And would it have killed you to smile?

Nobody does glamor like Penelope Cruz! I know she didn't take any real risks with this look, but that doesn't take away from the fact that she looks fantastic.

Penelope obviously knows how to work her curves. The cut of the dress makes her waist look enviably tiny, while making her look *ahem* bigger up top. The feather detail on the bust is a nice touch, bringing life to what could have been a boring gown, but the feathers near the bottom are even better because of their unexpected placement.

I also loved the fact that she wore her hair half up while the rest of the ladies at the Oscars went for the glam ponytails or the tightly pulled back up-do's. She stood out to me because she was just a little bit different than anyone else. That's not surprising, Penelope has never been afraid of standing out!

Cameron Diaz doesn't always get it right on the red carpet, and I can't say that she hit a home run this year, either. However, there were several things that she got unequivocally right, and these things you can incorporate into your very own wardrobe.

• In the pink -- Pale pink can be a beautiful hue for many, but you need to be careful that you select a shade that flatters your skin tone. Cameron looks like she just spent a weekend at the beach, so the light pink accentuates her bronze glow. If you're paler, you might want to select a pink with more color to it.